The dysfunctional intimacy issue with my h has been like clockwork for nearly our whole marriage! I am embarrassed, mortified, horrified, ashamed. It’s not just me doing it! It can’t be just me because if he weren’t doing his part in the dysfunction, he would have simply acted how he needs to go get along with (and not trigger) me, or he would have left me! I found a paper he wrote from 15 years ago and it was THE SAME ISSUE!

Anyway, we are back to baseline and moving forward together. I am 100% sure we will be panicked and fighting again soon, as past performance is an indicator of future. Yuck, how I hate this and wish it would STOP!

Calm, breathe, think positive, remember that this is how it is and I will return base to base level again…………..