Quote:
Originally Posted by ruby2011
I’m reiterating that it’s worse to have your mom die than to have someone who cared about you walk out on you. To break it down further, her mom was “her right hand.” My GM, though not legally related to me, was also my right hand, in a way. By the time I went to work for him, I was so damaged by my Arby’s experience that I was visibly dying inside. And I was self destructive. If it hadn’t been for our multiple talks, I woulda drank myself to death by now.
Arby’s coworker lost her mom to death. I lost this person to him suddenly deciding to change and reject me. Yes her situation is a lot worse. But other than that, there are similarities,
I have empathy for others, probably too much. I just lost the ability to express my empathy after getting hurt too many times. I was among those extremely supportive of my Arby’s coworker when her mom died. That was among the last time I emphasized with anyone.
It’s hard to emphasize when you’re constantly taking a hit and in survival mode.
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Ruby, it seems like you manufacture these relationships in your head. Your GM has been putting space between you and him the entire time you've worked there because you're infatuated with him. You were hurt when he went on vacation and you said inappropriately to him that you'd miss him, and he responded he wouldn't miss anyone on his vacation. He has been clearly putting boundaries between you and him. There is no relationship between the two of you. That's why people aren't supportive. Because you have imagined a relationship where there is none, and it's not the same, losing your crush to another store, as losing one's mother.
It really seems like you become infatuated with anyone in a supervisory position to you. You then refer to it as "looking up to them" as a way to pass it off as appropriate, when really it's infatuation that escalates into stalking.
I know that you can't get into see a therapist for a bit but can you find some local peer support groups to go to in the meantime and talk with them? First, these groups are actually intended to give you support not like your coworkers who are there to work. Second, Hopefully they can help you with reality checks from time to time.
NAMI does regular peer support groups in most cities.
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