Quote:
Originally Posted by ruby2011
I finally know why I look up to authority figures at work. I never had success in school and my folks used to constantly compare me with the overachieving kids of family friends. Well duh of course Morgan is so advanced. Her IQ is 144.
But I didn’t have a frame of reference as a kid. My first job in high school was the first time I was ever accepted by authority figures (AKA managers). Cuz the teachers at school always sent me to the principal’s office.
It also helped that everywhere I worked, I never had the misfortune of working for horrible bosses who play favorites, yells all the time, micromanaged, etc. I woulda never even lasted long working for a fair but strict supervisor. So who in this situation wouldn’t look up to a manager?
My coworker Katie from Arby’s had a horrible home life. Since she was a preteen, her dad and stepmom forced her to look after several younger siblings and constantly berated her. However she had a favorite teacher to look up to at school. And she had a supervisor to look to at Arby’s.
She looked up to the same supervisor I looked up to. Both her teacher and supervisor appreciated it. They stopped working together but are on each other’s Facebook. And I guarantee if they were to see each other in public, it would be warm greeting and catching up,
With my GM at McDonald’s, he can’t even acknowledge me much when he stops by my store to borrow stuff. How the hell would he acknowledge me AT ALL on the streets?
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It’s good you can make this connection. It sounds like you felt like your parents weren’t praising you, instead they were unfavorably comparing you to other kids. So when these managers treat you with praise for doing a good job (which they do, that’s their job, they want good morale and work out of their employees, and at first you are doing a good job wanting their praise) you get overly attached to them like the unconditional love you want from your parents. Am I on to something here or just reaching?
I hope you’re getting on the right track in wanting to stop the unhealthy fixations on the managers. It’ll take a lot of work for you. But this is what you need to do to function your best and stop getting unnecessarily heartbroken. You are setting yourself up for these heartbroken feelings and sabotaging yourself at your jobs.