Quote:
Originally Posted by Have Hope
Granted, I approached him with a problem about my workload. Ok, so people here have told me that bosses don't want to hear it if you feel your workload is too heavy.
|
Some bosses don't, some do.
Quote:
|
And granted, we figured out together through this conversation that it was my own fault. I am overworking myself and I am putting in too many hours for two of my clients every week, causing a problem for me. So, my work overload is my own fault, and I acknowledged to him that my problem was self inflicted.
|
My first question here: Whose responsibility is it to decide how much work you've got to do?
Quote:
|
However, at the same time, he insulted my work in this conversation. He criticized a tactic I used on one of my clients' websites, and I got a little defensive about it to him, especially since it's in fact working out well. And before I admitted that my problem was self inflicted, he had compared me to a far more junior former staff member, telling me that the junior staff member had been able to handle all of my accounts before me, so why couldn't I handle the workload?
|
That's not okay. He hasn't had the most constructive way to approaching the problem while it would be his responsibility as a boss, ideally.
In such a situation where I am being compared and asked about the reason like that, I would ask for time to think before I can respond in a way that works best for my own goals and then for the company's goals too if I want to stay with them.
Obviously the most constructive way would've been showing concern about the issue and then asking what they can do to help. But that's like advanced emotional intelligence skills and most bosses don't really have that or don't even have the chance to learn it so there is not even necessarily any point in blaming him for not being able to do it.
(I don't know much of your whole situation, the entire background, or anything there though)
Also the junior staff they compared you to. Was it really a fully objective comparison? Did they really have the exact same workload? Analysing that may help if you have the information about it (IMO don't ask for more information on it tho if you don't).
Quote:
|
Then he nitpicked over one mistake I made on a client call because I couldn't answer a random question, so he told me I was unprepared for the call, when I had been fully prepared but just couldn't answer the one question. So, basically, I got a lot of negativity and criticism from my boss in this one phone call, when I feel I am working very hard and in my own opinion, am doing a great job so far.
|
It could be he was feeling irritable and critical, yes.
Quote:
Days later, I am still reeling from the insult and the demeaning comments. I am basically butt hurt from it, and my morale now at work is very low.
My morale is SO low that I am now feeling very depressed and I am not working as hard as I used to.
|
I'm really sorry about that. Do you want to quote some of the insults and demeaning comments? Was he criticising a lot of small things in an irritated tone or was he talking about generalised criticism to your own person as well?
Quote:
|
In fact, I started looking for another job, I had an interview yesterday and have had the attitude of screw him. I don't need that kind of treatment. I don't know why he felt the need to insult my work, compare me to another coworker, or nitpick at me very unnecessarily when I've done nothing but work my butt off since arriving back at this job, and when I made the transition for my boss as smooth and as easy as possible when I came back to work for the company. I am also the most senior member on my team and the only female on a team of five men, so I don't know if this is sexism or what.
|
What all this also makes me think of: has your boss assigned you the extra workload, has he encouraged you to take on as much as possible, has he kept pushing more and more tasks on you?
Because that can happen to people who overwork themselves, they get into such a cycle too. It's not necessarily conscious either to themselves or to management.
And in such a situation, it's wrong of management to try and make the employee believe that it's all their own fault/self-inflicted/whatever.
Because it's the job of management to manage assignment of work too. It should not be the burden of the employee to do that. Though of course the employee is also responsible for knowing where their own limits are and saying "no". But management still has a job of managing it all effectively.
So if the situation is this, then you are better off finding another company with better, more effective and fair management, yes. Preferably more emotionally intelligent too. And also of course I would've suggested learning about your own limits too, but you are already trying to do that.
And I don't know if it's sexism but even if it is, then I would just add that to the list of reasons to leave.
Quote:
|
I don't know how to move past the negative comments - how do I get over this? Do I talk to him about these comments and tell him how I feel, or do I try to just get past it on my own?
|
You can quote them here, maybe it helps venting about them like that. It can also help with clarifying the entire situation more. But also the background like I mentioned above helps. Considering all that can help, it is hard to get to the right answer / the optimal answer when a situation is complex like that.
EDIT: On second thought.... I think I can imagine your situation. You feel overloaded (and it can't ALL be your fault, e.g. for the obvious reasons above), and you go to the boss for help, and instead of help they blame you for ALL of it.
No wonder you feel upset about it. Yes, I can see that's very upsetting if you already put in extra effort for the company.