I'm also on SSDI and simply cannot contain the symptoms so that they don't manifest in public. But the whole "wait until the time is right" "make sure you're safe before telling" thing just really gets me. I mean when I first meet someone and they ask "what do you do" if I feel like it, I just want to say, "I do psych meds every day. How about you?" I mean, I'm not even supposed to be able to answer a banal question honestly. And this is all from well meaning people. From my psych team to my friends, they are all in the "wait till the time is right" camp. As if I'm going to propose. Sometimes I just want to tell people about right away so that I can sort them out, why put in a time investment in them if they are just going to be landmine anyway. It could be my paranoia, but I'm getting the distinct vibe that its a social faus pas on par with proposing on the first date to just tell people about your M.I. too soon. I mean frankly, I don't need anything from anyone who would treat me that way anyhow.
Maybe I'm just really tired of playing tip toe about it. I've been in treatment for twenty years and its just such a day to day part of my life that I'm tired of trying to come up with Clark Kent lame excuses to cover for the fact that I go missing and am just generally strange. If it freaks people, that's their issue, someone with epilepsy doesn't have to apologize after have a fit in public, why should I?
I'm not looking to shove it in anyone's face, Im just weary to exaustion of acting like I'm trying to manage not my M.I. but my M.I.'s social and professional life.
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