The second my favorite show that I’ve been looking forward to for a couple months drops on Paramount+ is when my sister and nephews decide to come over. This show is not appropriate, and the bad words are not edited. I am getting so frustrated with my nephews. They yell and scream and run around glass tables but only in front of me and I refuse to be responsible for them. I tried shutting the door but the wind keeps blowing it open. So I’m just sitting here with it paused while they run in and out of the room yelling and my mom doesn’t care despite saying she’d help me out.

I mean, I try to do self care, or my anxiety gets a break for the first time in awhile and I feel like I can leave my house or get off my phone and I immediately get screwed over and then I regress again.

But I’m working on finding a couple doctors and therapists in my network. I found a primary that seems good and I have a few therapists I’m going to look into. I thought I’d have about 10 people to choose from but there were actually a few lists of people who take my insurance.

But I have 4 more days of this PMDD before I get a 2 week break before it starts all over again for 10 days straight.