I am not in a good place at all. I did see my T today in person. I am in Crisis. My Rage is tinged with Depression which this is my normal pattern.

I will be meeting the NP in July that is taking over for old Pdoc that retired quickly do to very poor health. I have no Idea what this NP will be like.. I have a very heavy amount of dread. If she is like most providers she will want me off Xanax ASAP I have been on it or Valium 10+ years. Fibro, PsA and numerous chronic pain is another reason I take it. My Xanax ? I told my T if she wants me off... If that is the case I will stop all psych meds and whatever happens will happen. There are no Doctors or NP's that will prescribe any Benzos as this area has a huge problem with Meth and crack makers.