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Originally Posted by hvert
I skimmed the DBT book today. It does not speak to me as much as CBT does.
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Heh well I'm with you on that but I find it interesting to find DBT principles in other approaches, CBT types of approaches included (like I mentioned it about REBT). It's the same idea, translated into a different approach, so to speak. And yeah, other approaches can speak better to you.
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I copied a couple of exercises down - there was one about examining your own role in a distressing situation that seemed really good, reviewing what happened, what part you played, what part the other person played, what you could have done differently to reduce suffering.
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Yes, that is what I call discovering all reactions to all points of a situation, along with examining responsibilities (including what part everyone played) and then after processing the reactions (yours and other people's), you are ready to take responsibility for your own part and find a more constructive solution that does not cause suffering
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Also, I am good at closing my eyes and guessing when a minute has passed.
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Same btw
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I love this quote from Alive99: "If you have a bias towards being negative, that by definition is not fact based. A bias is used to select facts." So my problem is that I prefer to select negative facts and I want to change that. I want the positive facts to stand out at least as much as the negative thoughts. I don't want to focus on the negative facts or to feel like I am personally responsible for solving these (perceived) problems, communicating these problems, etc.
I will have to read more about valence, I am not familiar with that.
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Glad if that helped!
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Both DBT and CBT suggest keeping logs of negative thoughts. I'm not sure that's great for me - I know they are there and I don't have the energy to argue with all of them. And maybe that is one place where CBT is a little weak for this particular problem - I'm familiar with the tools that deal with individual negative thoughts or situations, but is there anything that addresses chronic negativity/frustration/annoyance?
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The question is where the chronic negativity comes from. There could be many sources, from overload with stress, neglecting yourself, e.g. over-responsibility, neglecting fun, not taking enough care of yourself physically, not going in a satisfying direction in your life, or it could also be from your emotional environment, bad relationships, some people continually mistreating you in those relationships, and you absorbing their negative attitude towards you or just negative attitudes in general, like if someone likes to vent and offload negative emotions on you a lot. These are just some reasons I thought of, there can be more.
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Maybe I just need to reread some of those books and refresh my memory. I guess the DBT or mindfulness approach is letting these thoughts or emotions in and then letting them go...
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Yes. I find for me the trick with that though is that first I have to know WHAT I am letting go. What is the emotion, and what is that emotion about, and what is the linked thought about. And that can get complex sometimes......But then it works, the letting go, the disengaging, coming back to normal rationality.
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and maybe I can look up what techniques work to counteract discounting the positive.
One technique is to 'count the positives' and list everything good that's going on. Maybe I will try that.
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For this, to find the positive direction for your general/habitual emotional state, I think there are a few approaches too yes. I liked stuff on how you have to work on negative beliefs towards beliefs that serve you and make you more positive and happy and empowered. And that this may be a gradual process reworking the belief, coming towards the more positive belief that serves you better in the long run. Because it's completely normal at first if you don't feel you can believe the positive belief. Completely normal if you feel whatever positive things don't have a strong effect on you first. It takes time getting used to them, absorbing them more, and changing it all (habitual emotional state).