Quote:
Originally Posted by ruby2011
😭😭😭 his middle spawn is 15. His 3 spawns are a year apart from each other in age. The older 2 spawns are working (don’t know where but half the places in town hire 15 year olds now). If one of them got hurt like I had he wouldn’t tolerate it like my parents do. Hell my parents insisted I brought it onto myself. But I don’t worry about them getting hurt like I have. Cuz whoever they idolize are likely to appreciate it. They have the same good luck as kaitlyn from Arby’s. And Julie who also idolized the Arby’s supervisor when back she was at Wendy’s. (That old bag worked at Wendy’s for 25 years before Arby’s).
Now that I think about it, I’m pretty sure if I were raped, they would tell me to stop acting like a hoe. Cuz Asian blame the victim culture seem worse than the American ones that brought on the #metoo movement.
I hope if I were currently 15 and working for him at his new store, I might have better luck. Or maybe not. The supervisor from Arby’s, her 2 boys are significantly older than me. Hell her older spawn is 14 months older than my former McDonald’s GM (making them 41 and 40 respectively).
I’m just afraid if I force myself not to care about anyone, I would end up not being human. Without the capacity for human feelings, empathy, caring relationships.
Scene from TV series ER:
A seasoned ER physician advocated for a young minority medical school applicant to be given a chance at med school. He was competing with white applicants who had equally good credentials, at best. He got in but decided not to go.
ER doctor was taken aback by his choice, so young person explained he couldn’t deal with all the sickness, pain, and suffering.
Doctor: you’ll get used to it,
Young person: that’s what I’m afraid of
I watched this episode in high school and I instinctively knew he was afraid of losing his humanity. And so am I. I always been. I don’t want to be reduced to a machine, or psychopath, or Harry Potter dementors. Why can’t people understand?
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If you are afraid of losing your humanity you need to look at how you refer to people's children. You say you care and look up to this GM, but you're calling his children "spawn". Spawn is not a nice term. It has a decidedly negative connotation.
When you say your parents tolerate you having been hurt, is the hurt you are referring to your inappropriate stalking behavior? Because you did bring that upon yourself, and the intention of the other party in that was not to harm you but protect themselves.
Frankly, Ruby, this diatribe is very concerning and makes me worry for the other parties and their safety from you. You need to put this GM out of your head entirely and focus on your behavior at work, or I am quite concerned you will be fired for stalking him and that your behavior will escalate to the point you are either served with a restraining order or arrested for harassment or both. This line of thinking that you are entitled to hold space in head or entitled to a relationship with him is the kind of thinking that puts people in jail for stalking.
You do not have a relationship with him. Nothing you do will create a relationship with him. There is nothing you can do to make him care about you. You cannot force someone to care about you through behavior. It doesn't work that way. The fact that you talk about his kids the way you do shows that you don't actually care about him, because if you truly cared about him you'd talk about his family with respect. Instead it's clear this is an infatuation you have, and it seems like your desire is to have his attention for yourself, which is what stalkers want.
I urge you to stop entertaining thoughts about this person. When they come up, redirect your thoughts to something else. I'm not trying to be mean or cruel to you. I know you don't understand the social nuances, why he gives attention to some people and not to you, or healthy social interactions. I know social interactions, including those at work, are challenging for you because you cannot discern the nuances. And that's what makes this dangerous for you. If your supervisor or this GM heard what you just wrote, you'd be fired and a restraining order taken out. I am saying this to get you to understand the road you are headed on. The road to being in an incarcerated group home like prison, not one for people with ASD or whatever.
I do not want you to end up in the justice system, but I am very fearful for you. Please let this infatuation go, focus on your goals of being independent and financially independent, and behave at work (per the advice you've been given on boundaries to keep/ways to behave).