'how is your depression doing?' ...... so you want to know how my 'd' is doing, here is an example.


yesterday, there i was sitting with a compression wrap around my lower leg AND a heating pad along with it; then a hinged knee brace on the other leg (for an injury); the occasional shooting pains from my low back into both legs/thighs, which is a newer back-issue for me; an ice pack on my ribs (front side of course ) for the cartilage inflammation pain i've been dealing with; some nerve pain in my arm; and then the headache/migraine pain to top it off!

and yesterday, the leg cramps pain went on for like 12 hours or so!! (though there was a little one hour break in the middle there)
this was the longest (or one of them) my leg had done this, so far....

at times, i was almost to tears! at times, i was almost at my end - thinking i just can't do / handle this! at times, i just wanted it all to stop! at times, the thoughts of self-hatred were STILL there, even amongst all the pain! [ like 'you're the worst person in the world', 'maybe you do deserve this', ..... ]


if things continue like this or if they continue to gradually get worse, there won't be much of me left - as it's destroying me from the inside out......