In the limerence situation I had, I was the one to stop contact by not responding to an email. He had said something that was finally a clear message that he did not ever want to commit to me. I realized there was no hope. So I didn’t respond. He had been toying with me by giving just enough encouragement to keep me wondering. Now he had made himself clear, not in a way as though my affection was annoying to him, rather a simple statement that showed me I was not at all in his thoughts for his future.

It felt good to be the one to be in control by letting it go without response. But, I wished he had reached out again to ask why I didn’t respond and that he did want me. He probably never gave my departure a second thought. He just toyed with me because it fed his ego.

I was not letting go of ‘a good one’. I was pining after a bad one who cared little for me and used me to feed his ego.

Though I had thought about him obsessively previously, once I let go, he rarely crossed my mind again. It felt liberating but lonely. The fantasy of limerence felt fulfilling although it was 90% imaginery. The reality of the nothingness is lonely.

The whole dysfunctional way of thinking stems from a place of emotional issues. Healthy people have healthy real relationships.