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Old Jun 27, 2021, 11:01 AM
TishaBuv TishaBuv is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,258
Quote:
Originally Posted by hvert View Post
It's like each day has some kind of crisis, some issue I fixate on. Do I just not have enough to do?


My husband's old college buddy and his wife are coming into town the day my husband leaves for a trip. I listed out all my negative thoughts - there were more than a dozen. I feel pressured to play host in my husband's absence. I worry they are fishing for a place to stay but my house is trashed and I don't want to spend my alone time preparing it for guests. I don't want overnight guests. I have been looking forward to alone time and am heading out of town myself a few days after he does. I have things I need to get done before then.


All of this stuff is just in my mind. The fact is that my husband will not be here when his friend is here. They couldn't be bothered to coordinate their schedules ahead of time. It's not my problem. No one is asking me to do anything.

Why can't I think, oh, it would be nice to see them? It would be kind to show them around and return the favor since they have hosted me. Because I don't feel that way, I feel like I must be a bad person. In the end, I did offer to meet up with them one day because it seemed like the right thing to do.


I don't want to spend so much time thinking about these kinds of things.
Your feelings are your feelings. You don’t really want to be with them. Although you’ve stayed with them, you just feel obligated to return the favor. You can’t force yourself to be someone you aren’t. You can agree to politely host them, which you have done. You are a good person to reciprocate a favor.
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