Well, things have quietened down.

Yesterday was family BBQ (my aunt turned 80 on Friday). My cousin hosted; it was a lovely afternoon. I took mother; no point in brother doing round trip of over 10 miles to pick her up.

When we arrived, sister-in-law, glass in hand, was bossing everyone around. As usual my brother was on grill duty. No reaction to me when we walked in. I didn't expect it. At one point sister-on-law was standing behind me, only realised when offered to help mother to her seat. She soon got bored with showing everyone how good/kind she was. Wearing sunglasses, I was able to watch the "dynamics". She spent most of remaining time talking to my cousin, watching me or topping up her glass. One thing I noticed was how quiet she was compared to usual.

Mother hasn't mentioned anything yet but did criticise my older niece's partner for not saying thank you for his birthday present. She also acknowledged that niece doesn't either. I don't think the help network is working as well as she wanted. My aunt isn't doing shopping, so assume it's my brother and sister-in-law. Mother has mentioned she's run out of things.

I know she wants to give me some petrol money for yesterday's journey, but I don't want to take it. Don't want her to think I'm changing my stance. Tuesday will be interesting, it's her birthday.