I have come to believe I was (and to some extent still am) a toxic person irl. It's part of the reason I now lead a mostly solitary life. (I consider it to be my gift to the world... or at least that tiny portion of it I inhabit.)

To be honest I haven't really found a way to not feel guilty about being a toxic person. Being older, though, most of it is now in the past; and I try to keep in mind that it's over-&-done-with and leave it at that. I also try to be mindful of the ways in which I have been toxic in the past & minimize the amount of new damage I do. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't...