I doubt much is going to happen. Sex without a relationship could be a disaster, it could also just be simplified knowing I'm not in a relationship. It's still something though. This went on for quite some time before I wanted some affection besides a hand or a hug. It's not right, as a Christian in my mind, but I was needing that hug and I was very attracted to him. I really don't want to go into length, but he did say don't let him bully me into not getting a vaccination, he just wanted me to think about it for a few days. He didn't ghost me for 3 weeks, I meant I haven't seen him in that long. I do think he cares about me. It won't matter, I've known for a long time, he's leaving. He was supposed to leave this year but he couldn't for reasons I don't want to get into. I remember saying that I want to have fun.
I do. I will be fine whatever happens. I think it would be stupid to block him. He's leaving anyway. Emails are possible, we've done that before when he was away.
I'm not attached as emotionally as I've been with much worse men. I'll be fine. And the vax has nothing to do with christian beliefs. He did beg me to wait on the vax, so I did feel pressured to change my mind. If i want success in anything in life, I first need to control my thoughts. I don't have to think about him all the time and I don't. I need to either get back to working or start a new hobby or skill (weight loss and exercise is already on my mind), and getting back to playing piano. I've got tons of things to do, but when it comes down to the big why I did this, it is affection and humor and attention. He's witty. He's kind. I'm done with the thread, but I appreciate you read all of that @sarahsweets
Thank you.