I'm sorry he needs to self-medicate. A lot of us do. I've tried to correct that behavior. Though I have made major improvements, I sometimes rather just shift what I self-medicate with (or how). My husband is different than me in that he is slow-paced. That used to drive me nuts, early in our marriage. He has ADD (the slow version) and I know that contributes. But he is a very imperturbable type of person, with occasional exceptions. That characteristic has helped our marriage survive well.