Quote:
Originally Posted by rdgrad15
I'm sorry you had to deal with that. I experienced that myself. A long time ago, I used to think anyone who asked me questions about my life or how I was doing genuinely cared. But then I soon realized they really didn't care and that I told them stuff that they didn't need to know or didn't want to know. I learned better as I got older and I'm very cautious about that now. I agree that you shouldn't feel like you have to ask others how they're doing out of obligation, but in some cases it happens. I usually don't do that, but sometimes I catch myself asking out of politeness just to fill in awkward silences.
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I feel it’s nice to ask out of politeness. If I run into an acquaintance I ask how they are doing. It seems like basic social grace to me. Of course, I don’t expect them to go into a whole story while meeting in passing. It would just be a quick response and then we go about our way.
The friend I gave TMI, I was really in trauma and it blurted out. Right after that, I learned (on this forum) how people feel about TMI and I was so embarrassed!
The friend who was so curt, well that was just her personality. I wasn’t even put off by it, I thought it was funny. Though I would have liked to have another friend.
People used to conform more to societal norms like asking how you are and probably pretending to care….but so what? I thought that was nicer than being honest to someone’s face that you really don’t care about them. Now, people generally (in USA?) are brutally honest and make no pretense about not giving a hoot.
I kinda like phoney caring better.
And some people truly do care, taking a moment to connect on a human level and make someone feel good.