So Sorry you're feeling like this! Please do not give up! i agree with the other wise and wonderful Yaowen about being So Sorry for your situation. Are you currently seeing a therapist or anyone else whom may be able to Help? It seems like that may Help a bit perhaps. Hopefully things will improve soon for everyone. i Hope you will be able to find Peace. Try toc ut off contacts with negative people and to establish a support system if you don't already have one. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @DarkMagician, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!