Quote:
Originally Posted by Lizzie1813
I had a hard time falling asleep last night. My guilt, shame, and regret torture me night and day. During the day, I shut down my brain by binge watching Netflix and reading, but at night, I can’t hide from the past. I woke up anxious this morning. I wish I had been the mother my children needed. In recent months, I’ve come to realize I’m a selfish, self-absorbed person. I know now that I’ve always been this way. I’m trying to change. I pray to God to help me consider how my words and actions affect others. I want to be a good person.
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I’ve been there. Quite recently in fact. I was harming myself because of the immense guilt, especially about how I’ve treated my son. I’m not abusive but I just feel like I’ve already ruined his life because of multiple hospitalizations. Not to mention just my faulty genes. He’s a super anxious child and it’s uncanny because he has the same exact fears as I had as a child. I just feel awful. But it’s true, you just can’t sit there and stew in your own regret. You can’t change the past. All you can do is improve yourself for the future.
The thing I’ve found most helpful for me so far is a form of positive affirmations. I just write down over and over again things like “I am a good person” and “I have not ruined my son’s life”. It helps in the moment.