I had a really tough day today (afternoon, anyway)

had a visit from a new member of the mental health team- and apart from it being totally unexpected and a shock to the system, one of the questions she asked me was.... what are the 5 most important things to move forward?

and I really didn't have an answer for her



which is the truth, but found that I couldn't say that to her because it may end bad for me

so I just told her litirally theo nly things I could think of- move back to my home city, and stop being treated like crap and that I don't have a brain

okay, that last one about being treated like crap is possibly something she can help me with, but moving back to my home city?. who am I kidding. I just don't want anything apart from



so I found the question really hard

when she left I just fell silent and felt so drained.. wishing I could tell her more, but also wishing that I never met her in the first place.

distracted myself by writing my shopping list, and I guess that helped a little.