Quote:
Originally Posted by corbie
Weird. Raises some red flags, based on xT experience. Were you in agreement on what the "main thing you went to her for" was? And what is it about 'should have been resolved'? Either it is, or it isn't. Decisons based on 'should' are fishy. Of course, if she's planning a change of direction in her career and you're in the way, that's ... cold, but hard to argue with :/ She knows about your attachment issues, right?
Anyway, very hard to give advice - only you know what you need help with the most, what feels like help to you and what alternatives you have. You still have time with your current T, so it might help if you can openly discuss these issues with her. Hopefully she doesn't get defensive or dismissive (though it sounds a bit like she might have already?)
After the xT Fiasco Part 1, I felt like I don't want to ave anything to do with bloody therapy ever again. AFter a few months I decided I'd try to sort things out with her, and after about half a year I sterted considering more therapy with her. After Part 2, I again felt like taking a break, but after maybe about a month I started looking for therapists again (mainly thanks to encouragement from a friend who ... long story, but managed to find someone she could work with) I might be lucky, but so far the one I ended up with seems to work out better than I dared to hope. Part of the reason is that unlike xT, she refrains from telling me where I should be and how fast I should proceed, she seems to be content to work with what is. BTW I'm still not over the xT stuff, after well over a year, even though that was the main focus for a while and still comes up in sessions every now and then. It does feel like a lot of time wasted, but out of the realistic alternatives, it's probably as good as it was likely to get. One thing I finally managed to learn over the years (maybe, kind of) is that trying to hurry things WILL end badly for me, no matter what anyone (including myself) thinks.
|
Yes we were in agreement that-the main thing I went to see her for is listed as one of her specialties. She did say in the beginning that she only worked with children who had it and still spent 8 months working on it with me. It’s a life long thing and in the start of our work she said it takes as long as it takes and now its “it doesn’t take this long to work through this”. She is now saying I need a therapist who deals with this in adults. She should not have taken me on if she has that little experience with adults. This woman is colder than doing the polar plunge in winter. Yes she knows of my attachment issues and is now saying she only deals with them in children and I need a therapist who does adult attachment issues. Don’t take someone on when you don’t know what you are doing and then ditch them later because its “to much” for you.
I have tried openly discussing these all of this with her and each time she argues with me, gets defensive and dismissive. Its like walking on egg shells and our arguments are like a toxic teenage friendship. She won’t allow me to discuss my feelings on it at all. It doesn’t feel safe to anyways. This this whole thing is so messed up. So you can probably see my hesitation in more therapy.
Thanks for sharing your experience. I am also not over my T before this one and its a long, hard, lonely road. So its helpful that I am not alone in that. Therapists don’t understand there impact on people or they do and use it for a personal power trip.