after battling non purging exercise bulimia for a while i decided to calm down. binge/restrict is horrible. I have not really counted calories since Friday and letting myself eat. Also telling myself to ignore the binging urges and accept they are there. Its going well so far. I am less obsessed with food. i can sit with my body and feel calm. I gained a some weight from the binging and even though it is actually not that much i think it's the end of the world. i am trying not to look in the mirror or weigh myself

Gonna be hard later because I'm mkaing rice and I alwyas measure out two servings when I make it. So i know how many calories. Not sure if i can eat things like rice and oatmeal freely.

Similarly I know the calorie counts in a lot of things, hard not to automatically count them.