Is your main trigger the ‘looking up to’ fixations with authority figures? Do you have issues in other areas, too? How do you do with friendships or romantic relationships? How is your relationship with your parents?

It is very hard to control your problematic behavior (inappropriate responses) to your triggers. Good for you for making some progress. If the main trigger is the ‘look up to’ the manager thing, don’t you think it’s best to avoid the whole situation in the future? Don’t work jobs with a manager so you don’t set yourself up for this same inevitable problem.

Others suggested differently structured jobs you can do that you have the college degree and intelligence to do. Tbh, working fast food with a college degree isn’t the best one can do. (I didn’t finish my college degree ).

IDK why you have the ‘look up to’ fixation, but accepting you have it, and knowing it’s going to go the same bad way for you every time…it makes sense to avoid it IMHO.

Can you see that as true and accept that for yourself?