My Support Forums - View Single Post

black-roses · 11:15 AM

So, after the failure of me being unable to stay in floristry cert 3, I was recommended I should do a general study or a leadership course. The leadership course was mainly online and I need something that was more inclusive so I decided to enrol in the general study course. I feel like it's gonna be boring and a waste of time after being kicked out of 4 courses in the last 4 years I feel like I've wasted a huge portion on my life just trying to study. So I have a lot of regrets... My biggest regret is letting some unkind heartless lecturer kick me out for no good reason in youth Work. So mentally I'm just going through all my memories in terms of my educational past.

Possible trigger:

I feel like it's useless to try as I'm defective in everyway and like a cancer on society. It's hard to let go of the anger and self destructive feelings I feel right now. I just want to destroy myself so bad and it's like I'm just in a self mopping mood. Studying would be great I could get a job but I know realistically there is a small chance that I'll be employed. I'm too mentally ill to even do basic chores at home. I was considered a liability in other courses I just fair it happening again that they'll find whatever excuse to kick me out. I've even been kicked out of courses where there was no physical danger. So I feel personally that the world is a horrible place people are awful and I just hate everyone to be honest and just want the world to burn in hell. I might try this new general education course but if I get kicked out I'll be out for blood I feel.