HaveHope, I fully understand how this unacceptable behaviour can be a trigger for you. Many of us have a particular issue (or two!) that upsets/angers us more than others. I cannot be hypocritical so don't do fake.

However in this age of equality, being the only female member of the team does not automatically command respect. It's better defined as respectful behaviour towards you as a human being. Yes, there are some things/actions that are unacceptable in our (female) eyes. As I commented earlier in this topic, there's usually a reason for this behaviour.

In my first job at 19, I had little life experience. Academic qualifications don't teach you how to deal with people. In those days (gosh I sound old!), discriminatory actions/comments were often passed off as banter. Next role with same company was more senior; different (more serious) boss who delegated a lot of tasks to me as his PA. When I asked for a progress report, one manager told me lies. When boss asked why, he said I wasn't his boss so he didn't need to be honest with me. Needless to say, he was told off for being disrespectful. One problem I did have, which was recorded on an assessment, was my relationship with female co-workers. I got on better with male co-workers because I could talk about sport.

My last job was a totally different "ball game". Strange company culture! Some good people, others were lazy. One director said he had a problem with me because "I was too good". At a one-to-one discussion a few years later, he admitted the comment was purely a reflection on others in the company. My final boss there was nice to start with, then began to find fault. I was in favour until someone new joined his team, then it switched. He liked a drama and I wasn't providing enough for him.

Yes, it will affect our self-esteem and make us question whether we want to subject ourselves to further criticism. That's our personal choice.