I agree with others recommendation to seek out a child psychologist for an evaluation. She may need some enrichment opportunities as it sounds as though she is advanced for her age. She may be gifted - which doesn't mean that her behavior is mature at all.

A psychologist could offer strategies that would help you help her to calm down and regulate her emotions.

My son was also very intense .. very inflexible, anger outbursts etc. We eventually learned that he had sensory integration dysfunction, non-verbal learning disability, dyslexia, and was delayed learning to read. We learned how to parent him differently and got him started on occupational therapy, got him enrolled in the public school's early intervention program, plus worked with a pediatric psychologist who specialized working with children with learning differences.

Meeting with a professional let us understand that we were not terrible parents and that we did not cause his issues - it was a big relief to say the least. But more importantly, we learned more effective parenting methods that worked for him. That was over ten years ago and I can tell you that my son is doing great. People who meet him don't think for a minute that he ever had behavior issues when he was a toddler, preschooler, elementary school student.

Early intervention is always a win-win situation. She is not too young to be evaluated. Your pediatrician should be able to refer you.

Hang in there -