So Sorry for what you're going through! Please Do not give up! i can partly relate to your post as my mood can be easily affected sometimes too. i agree with the other wise and wonderful posters about Hoping that you will like these forums. You've said you try to avoid doctors and meds. Can i ask you how Long ago was the last time you saw one and/or took meds? Perhaps it may be worth it to give it another try if you're Feeling this way. Side effects can suck but Hopefully you can keep them under control with the help of your doctor. In any case the decision is yours. i Hope things will improve soon for everyone. Feel Free to check out the anxiety forums if you haven't already. Contact the admins and moderators in case you need Assistance. i am also available if you need it and hopefully many others as well. Hugs. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Heliosphere, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!