Well, this morning before the negative thoughts settled in I had this insight that it’s not good to be intimate with someone who has a diagnosis , refuses therapy and medication, self medicates, and is enabled by and enmeshed with their mother. I am gaining stronger ego boundaries and I think that’s due to recovering from my own self medication disaster . Last night I had a positive interaction with a male that made me feel happy and made me realize something I was missing in my relationship. To me, gender differences are important. As an example of what I don’t like, my ex bf would complain about having to make a move because he was the guy. Well, that’s not feminism, to me that’s being lazy and also not willing to risk rejection . A lot of females enable my ex bf. His mom made a cold apology to me “I’m sorry you got hurt”, as if some how I was the one with the problem .