You seem to take pride in your bad behavior. You need to talk about your twisted thinking, delusional beliefs and bad behavior with a professional. And not go to work until you’ve addressed those issues even if that means being placed in a sheltered group home.
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Nammu
…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann
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