This is a good subject to discuss, and I hope I am not changing it too much but what if anger is not really felt at all ?

Kimmydawn, you said that you suppress your anger/rage but that it does come out. Are you just recently starting to let it out ?

I just wonder if I will get to that point myself. I have had many things in my life that would deserve anger and rage, but I never shew it. The most I get is 'annoyance' and even then it didn't happen at the time of bad things. It is very strange - I don't get angry.

A couple of weeks ago I was very ill and in a stressful situation and I did the nearest thing to anger I have ever done - I walked away and my head felt it would burst, there was a lot of pain and muscle tension. I talked about it while upset to my partner (in a quite heated way).

When one of the bad things happened to me, I felt as if someone had hit me violently across the neck on the right side and I cried. But I never got angry !

How about going to a deserted beach, specially on a windy day, and shouting into the air all your rage ?

It depends on what or who you are angry with, but hitting a baseball bat on a pile of cushions is a good one too. Them cushions could be someone and you could stamp around on them and tell them what you think of them !

I am now thinking that there are times when you are alone and feel angry. And there are times when you are with ppl and you feel angry. 2 different kinds.

Being alone and expressing anger could become frightening so i guess you could come to an agreement with a friend that they would call you afterwards, or they could be around to encourage you and offer care as you calm down.

When with ppl, awareness of what triggered the anger seems to be important to me. Some ppl may genuinly deserve a bit of anger and (even though I can't do it !) expressing it is ok for the occasion.

I have read somewhere that ideally anger should be expressed at the time of the incident that brought it about, and to the person then, so it doesn't fester.

But I don't think the person who wrote that was aware of how much past bad stuff ppl can have. Bad things happen when we are too small and don't know (or are too scared to) how to do that. Years go by and for many, there are consequences if they express anger.

I believe that with dedication and time (and a good T) that eventually many of the 'individual' angers can be worked on. When they are sifted through and feelings expressed on them, maybe the confusion of past angers mixing with present angers will clear.

I hope you find some clarity, Kd, at the moment I am now realising I have exhausted myself ! Please excuse any waffle, I can get carried away !

I don't feel anger myself but the stuff I wrote just comes from experience with others. I know i should practice what I preach, but I also know that it will come when i am ready to handle it ........

Going to have a rest now, kitties

Keep hanging in there !!!!!!!!! Poppet