The title of this thread should have been "how can I learn to be ok with myself when I'm lonely and all my friends are far away,. How do I stop using the excuse in my mind that because someone seems to enjoy my company it makes sense to get in my car and drive to see someone"..

So I said I won't respond anymore to my thread. I do want to say, I've learned something from all of this. I've learned I do know the intent of this man, even earlier on,
and I ignore what I want. I'm not doing that anymore. It does feel so good to feel in control of my own life. He asked me to help him with moving, I wanted to get out of here and drive. I listened all day into the night with him talking to me. I've been either blessed or cursed with a good memory. His story changed. I won't go out with a liar. I won't ever chase a man again. I've done that before. He said "i don't see what's wrong with that" I gave him a blank stare, but it's so obvious that it's wrong, it's unfair. He showed little interest in my own life, but he used to.. . I asked him more questions about his faith. His answer doesn't work, I don't believe in God the way he does. I called him out on some other bs that he's said. Then he changed. I'll still appreciate the whole experience because that's how we grow and learn. I didn't want to talk when I left. I don't think it's right to just not say good bye. So I texted (he won't phone, I know the reason} , but I said what I needed to. It doesn't work for me. I won't be what he wants me to be. It's not that this was any intense romantic desire from either of us I think we truly enjoyed each other's company. But when I wanted to agree to have sex, I went against my own morals. It was tempting, I was attracted, lonely..... I have to be ok with myself alone and I am, but affection is so good to have. I realized how all of this was so centered around what he wants that I truly am done. It feels good, I got the "closure" I needed for myself.

I do so appreciate the caring people on this forum and being supportive.