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Originally Posted by Lostislost
I can relate to your post, especially the last paragraph...'an illusion of being part of someone else's life'...I feel like this sums up my relationships with people, including my T.
I don't know how or why it's like this. Sometimes I feel really close to people, friends or work colleagues or my therapist. Then stuff happens and I can see that I'm not really a part of their life at all, and it was all quite one sided or just in my head.
I have felt close to people at work and with people I volunteered with, but as soon as I stopped working or volunteering there, people instantly forgot me. It would probably be the same with my T. I think he forgets about me in between sessions, or he says stuff like 'all my clients are in my thoughts...' whatever that means. I think it means I'm not special to anyone, but I wish I was.
Sorry you experience this feeling too, it is not nice at all.
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It's like that with most people. You shouldn't fool yourself into thinking you are really close to people. You are just setting yourself up for disappointment. If you want a friend get a dog. If you are more independent get a cat.