Oh I have a long way before I feel I have a balanced life I think. ,Yes, very true, I have to live with myself, and be accountable to what I do..I do want to do what I know is right or I feel horrible for sinning. I often ask myself why did I do that. I think it's very hard to resist a hug, to just have someone touch you. Yes pets are good, I have a cat. I've always loved dogs too. I miss the horses. But it wouldn't be the same as having another human soul that loves you. But yes, we never know when someone is going to leave, or die, anything can happen. I can't torment myself over a man.

If there isn't one coming to me in the future, I will at least be able to live with myself knowing I don't have to feel like I need forgiveness, because it is a sin when not married. I wish that my marriage had worked, but it didn't. I was young, and people do still change for the worse sometimes. I'm not referring to this guy now, he won't change. I felt relief when I let him go.

I'm glad you're happy with your life and thanks for the support @eskielover