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Jul 03, 2021, 04:49 PM
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Member Since: Apr 2014
Location: Home
Posts: 8,406
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Quote:
Originally Posted by unaluna
Im not sure what fuzzy means, but i see it as, and this greatly relates to me, that, under stress, ruby gives out whats in her bucket. I was raised with rejection, so that means everyone is first my enemy. Making friends does not come naturally. I have a people-pleasing shell, but it doesnt go very far before it cracks.
People DO make friends at work, just not ever with me. Im too weird. And i was raised not to trust people. The first people i didnt trust were my parents (at a very young age). They confided in me that they hated each other (when i was older).
I was in therapy for 40 years, and my life fell apart when i got fired from my last job and was simultaneously being betrayed by my immediate family. It was too much. I didnt have enough help to make it through.
I hope ruby can find a way to make a new life for themself, being as perceptive and quickwitted as they are.
Eta - oh, i get it! Fuzzy answered the title question! Duh! Then i agree. My family made / makes it harder for me. They dont want to just help solve the problem, they want to change ME. Thats not the right answer.
But a lot of people here have reached out with helpful suggestions.  |
The problem is the question Ruby posed is under a false premise that they are being unsupportive. They aren't being unfriendly to be unsupportive. They are being "unsupportive" because she is verbally abusing them.
I get not having anything in the bucket to be empathetic. I've been there. But point blank, her emotions emotions behaviors are her own responsibility. It is not her coworkers' responsibility to keep her in a good mood.
The heart of the problem is really that Ruby needs professional support to be successful, but she doesn't even seem to want to listen to that, since she's going to go right back to work somewhere else instead of getting help first.
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What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly?
Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.
Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien
Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
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