Thanks. I listened to the presentation of the book on her website and it seems interesting. I think it can offer some comfort when feeling lonely and to read about other people who share a similar experience of not belonging.
Iīve sometimes thought that a therapeutic relationship will be the only one what will be possible for me as itīs too hard to form truly deep connections with others. At least a therapist, if sheīs good, offer true compassion and understanding even if itīs in a limited form. If I had the money , I could easilty see a therapist just to feel less lonely and to avoid getting too depressed, to at least stay at the surface so to speak.
But thatīs not the case when Iīm stuck with what public health care can and canīt offer me. The danger with those therapeutic relationships will always be that they see it more as their job (and should do) whilst some of their clients, including myself, see it as a "real" relationship even if I know it isnīt. It feels like someone to rely on, and it partly is, but not to the extent I need.
Quote:
Originally Posted by comrademoomoo
People in this thread might be interested in this book:
Belonging Remembering Ourselves Home, a book by Toko-pa Turner | Toko-pa's Official Website
I haven't finished it yet, but it explores our deep yearning to belong and how this is a part of the human condition. She speaks about belonging as something ancient and something which is more than having friends or volunteering, etc. It's a strangely reassuring and sad book. It looks at how we can belong and how we ostracize *ourselves*, as well as how we are cast out from the places where we should belong - family, community, etc.
So yes, I get the search for belonging. I think it's why I gravitate back to therapy even when I find my therapist painful. I yearn to belong and yet I am also fearful of it: the fake relationship with her is as much as I can manage. I push away from all of my personal relationships and whilst I still do this with her, I have to worry about it less. |