It is a bit extreme to call her emotionally abusive. From what you wrote, it seems she is emotionally insecure and yes, maybe projecting these insecurities. There is still a world of difference between these two.

Your walking away only served to 'prove' her subconscious right i.e. that she is unlovable or underserving of love... or whatever her script is.

To me, that suggests she needs help and compassion rather than to be vilified or labelled as abusive.