Last night I took an extra Geodon 80, a muscle relaxer, a Xanax, and 2 zzquil melatonin. After that I asked my mom to hide my meds since I wasn’t confident I wouldn’t take anything else. After all that I still woke up at 2:30 and couldn’t get back to sleep. Although last night I was slightly down in the dumps like I usually am on Saturday nights. So I’m not sure all that stuff I took was just because I wanted to sleep a long time. I had to wake my mom up at 2:30AM for my meds because I was super anxious and I also wanted to take my Geodon and go back to sleep. I took a Valium too. But they didn’t help me get back to sleep. They helped with my anxiety though. I couldn’t get onto MSF so I turned my music on and then I got up at 6 to take a shower.

I actually left my house today. Around 7 I went for a coffee from Dunkin’ Donuts and then half an hour ago I went to a couple gas stations and a Walgreens looking for the new fruity Kit Kat’s. I couldn’t find them but I did find yogurt covered skittles which I didn’t know they made anymore.

I feel ok today but it’s early. Usually after my second Valium is when I start to struggle.

My house smells so bad. It smells like feet. I use fabric spray and air freshener in my room everyday. So I know it’s not my room. It honestly smells like it’s coming from my moms room. But I don’t want to say anything. I smelled it at the old house in her closet too.