Married 17 years and as the children have gotten older it's become more painfully obvious how lonely and sheltered life has become. My husband has no interest in having friends, doing anything socially, or leaving his office/computer/books. He was dx Aspergers about 16 yrs ago so I guess there's a reason.
This is a re-marriage and my past relationships and growing up was so completely opposite with lots of activities, vacations, social events, etc. The holidays, like today July 4th, are becoming so painful I'm not sure if I can deal with another one alone watching outside as others have parties and laugh together while enjoying each other's company.

I try to stay busy with housework, hobbies, grocery shopping and just got a PT job. Or do something by myself but it seems to reinforce or make the issue worse for me when I go off by myself, if that makes sense. At the heart of the issue is the fact I really want to share good times with a partner. It doesn't have to be smothering, just once in awhile.

He was never extremely outgoing but the isolation has progressed to a pretty solid lifestyle pattern now and to taking him out of his comfort zone is usually not worth his outward discontent, obligatory actions, apathy and impatience.

I do have occasional outings with my adult children but they have lives of their own. The blame is on myself for reaching this point as I've tailored my life without realizing to his liking.

Discussions and marriage therapy with him have not helped although to be fair they were mostly centered on him not being physically close with me and relationship issues with the children. This is more of a roommate situation with 2 people that care about each other due to the traits common to those challenged by very high-functioning ASD.

I'm just looking for any similar situations people might have and how they have made it better.

Thanks for reading this far. I appreciate all he has given us by ways of being a good provider and even-tempered. I add this because I don't want for my looking for help be misconstrued as ungrateful.