Yeah that's what I had in mind when I talked about autonomy and the like.

When I had cPTSD, it helped me survive too. (I don't know about the ASD and BPD stuff, so I'm just saying this in general)

But it does have a cost too to try and do it that way, are you fully aware of that cost?



Looking back I feel like it was also kinda irrational that I felt like I needed it to survive, but it did help also - but only as long as I was able to handle the workload. That's important to consider.



I know that if I had been like, it really is impossible, then I'd have stopped anyway, it doesn't mean the end of the world if not working for a year or something like that. Rest and recovery can be nice lol



I remember someone mentioned IT...you aren't interested in that kind of thing?



I read a bit of the earlier threads like I said, and I remember you mentioned in here or somewhere else that it seems like all your relationships end suddenly with these people. But reading the threads (even just a bit) it was obvious from this outsider pov that things were already not going very well and that it had been that way for a while. Maybe if you analyse all that and tune into things that you did not focus on before, you'll understand more eventually.





No worries at all!







Well I had that too in mind that besides the ASD thing of not reading emotions much, your emotions from the BPD or trauma or something, they can obscure other people's feelings in an extreme way and then you can miss them and that just adds to the default ASD problems. Creating the mess you mention about contradictions.






Just out of curiosity - since analysing just this one interaction is not going to answer all the contradictions - were you joking too?