Quote:
Originally Posted by ruby2011
Ok. I meant I have theory of mind. I thought it’s the same thing as knowing ppl’s thoughts and feelings. Not as mindreaders, but you know nonetheless. That’s what the textbooks said anyway.
This isn’t the first time I was misunderstood. Nor will it be the last.
Like I said to a customer “it didn’t take your card.”
Him: why
Me: I don’t know. Check with your card company or your bank
Him: you mean my card was declined?
Me: yes
Him: then tell me that
Me: I did from the very beginning
It wasn’t my fault he wanted to play like that
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This is actually a perfect example of taking TOM too far. TOM is an inference, but you have to understand you don't truly know what someone is thinking or feeling and that you may be wrong.
This person wanted you to clarify because "take your card" is not specific. Do you mean that it declined my card or your reader is down? Or did I remove it too fast? What exactly are you saying by "take your card"?
And no, you didn't tell him that from the beginning. This man asked you for clarification and you respond with saltiness.
It seems like you might do that a lot. And you read into people's behaviors a lot in a way that I would certainly call cognitive distortion.
You keep saying your coworkers didn't support you, and the most of what I can tell is you mean they don't talk to you a lot (give you the cold shoulder), which seems like simple boundary enforcing to me, since you talk to them to force them to give you therapy and talk about the GM, or since you say rude things. I don't see how them keeping boundaries is somehow mistreatment, and I haven't so far seen you say anything that rises to the level of actual mistreatment.
I think what gets you in trouble is that infer incorrectly what people are thinking and act off of that. It would be better to presume that people behaving however they are is a result of something going on with themselves and not respond to it. Do you understand what I'm saying?