Quote:
Originally Posted by seesaw
Ruby, you said this:
Then you engaged in a discussion with me about it. And now you are backtracking it. You need to own up to what's going on with you. You have to confront that you are doing these things. Believing you know what others are thinking or feeling is a cognitive distortion of BPD.
Theory of mind does not mean you know what others are thinking.
|
Looks like to me here you are doing the same you are claiming she's doing (and I'm not saying she's not doing it). You believe that you know what's wrong with her mind, what she thinks about in the wrong way etc. and you readily apply that to this interaction between you two.
Quote:
Originally Posted by seesaw
Ruby, I just want to point out: I acknowledge that it didn't mean anything different to you, but actually the "literal" meanings ARE different. Take and decline are literally two different words.
I'm not saying this to nitpick you, but because I'm trying to drive home that you're reading into something and also confusing concepts.
When he said "so it was declined?" And then mentioned that's what you should say, the appropriate response is simply "You're right I should have been clearer. Thank you for that suggestion." Instead you go right to rude.
These come from cognitive distortions in your mind.
|
Feels like to me this simple case is being blown up into something bigger here. People have misunderstandings like that all the time, you just move on from it by default. It isn't about special cognitive distortions.
I agree though with how she needs help with emotion management, reading emotional tone, being willing to entertain different possibilities about what people meant and about their behaviour where she feels nobody cares about her. THAT part I do agree is from cognitive distortions too, not that we don't all have cognitive distortions sometimes, but her case does need a lot of help. I wholly agree with that part, I just don't think the card example is a good illustration of it and it can be counterproductive to nitpick on small things like that IMO
Quote:
|
You will be doing yourself harm to go back to work before getting some professional help to work on these things.
|
And yea that's what I mean by her needing to take into account that this is the cost if she wants to keep working without changing anything else. When I kept working with cPTSD, I was working on myself too, a lot of psychoeducation, internal reflecting, processing, went into therapy etc.