I met with my new therapist today. There is a definite difference between her and my last one. This one is only about 7 years older then me. I couldn’t really read her. She did that whole blank slate thing the whole time. She did smile a couple times though but didn’t really show any reactions when I said stuff. She wasn’t weird and she didn’t ask any strange questions. She asked a lot of questions though. I told her I was trans but she didn’t give her opinion on the matter. Today was like an intake session. I liked her though and she set up appointments through October. She kept calling my my mom “mom” and asked what I was on the Valium for. I briefly mentioned why I switched T’s. She’s way better then the other one.

I got a lot of grocery shopping done this morning before therapy. I tried going out to eat for lunch but there was a 2 hour wait. Apparently restaurants can’t get people to work. My uncle said where he lives there’s a 2 hour wait with reservations. I didn’t know it was so bad but I haven’t tried going out to eat in awhile.

I did good today though. I got to 2 stores and I watched TV before Walmart and before the other grocery store that was on the way to therapy. I feel a bit off right now but it’s not like how I have been feeling at this time. I think therapy helped. I haven’t thought about either of the old ones much.

I did take all 3 of my Valium and I feel kinda anxious still. I screwed with my Geodon again last night. Had a pretty fast heartbeat when I woke up at 10. I just took a 20 mil this morning. I’m gonna run out of those early if I’m not careful. I plan on taking just the 20 and 80 tonight and my melatonin’s. I wish I could ditch Geodon entirely. I wouldn’t be a direct danger to myself and I’d lose a ton of of weight fast. I did halfway mention the med situation today to my T. I said I sometimes take extra ones. No response or reaction from her.