I would like to put another spin on this if you don't mind. And none of what I'm about to say is meant in a disparaging way to either you or your husband.

I get the impression (probably because this reminds me of me) that you started making decisions and doing things on your own because your husbands perception of when something needs to be done and your perception of when it should be done are two very different things. In that way, since you may be the one who thinks it should be done by a certain time and maybe even in a certain way, if he doesn't do it by then, you take it back and do it yourself.

We at that point then turn into a "control freak" or at least the very perception of one. The mate looks at it as....well, I wasn't fast enough or I didn't do it well enough, so let her do it as she sees fit as nothing I do is good enough or right enough. At that point, they give up and don't try because to them, there is no sense to it.

If this sounds somewhat familiar to you, I suggest that making a list of chores for your husband to do, in his own time and his own way is a good place to start. In making this list, you have to be willing to give up total control over those chores. No matter how frustrating it may be to you, or how late he seems to do the chores....the point is to get him to do them....no matter how they get done or when.

I could be wrong in my thought pattern here, but I see it happening all the time in relationships at home not only with myself but with my friends as well. Men by nature are fixers, and if they feel they can't do something right (according to our estimations) they will not even attempt to do anything once they have been told they aren't doing it right or fast enough. That's not a good place to be....for either of you

Oh, and please don't forget...there is always more than one right way to do something

Wishing you well...please, take good care of yourself and that baby.....take some breathes and try to figure out what you can let go of right now....something that is not emergent in getting done....and make that list for him to help.


sabby