Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
I don’t think it’s wrong to talk to one’s parents about aches and other things. That part I think is normal and not bothersome. That just routine conversation. I think of close relationship with parents is a good thing actually. I think it’s healthy but within limits. My brother and I were close with our mom but she didn’t excessively meddle in our relationships. Of course no one can love anyone like their mother does. That just a given, it’s a different kind of love. But if someone is dependent on their parents in adulthood it’s not healthy imho
Some other examples of his mom are weird though like driving him to a date. Unless he doesn’t drive, then it’s ok
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Well it wasn’t a date at that point and it was so we didn’t have to loop back to his car. I think he’s dependent on his mom in the sense he’s never had to deal with a landlord or a pg&e bill, his mom does his taxes for him and gives him his mail.
I wouldn’t say his mom “meddles” in our relationship, I would say she champions him at every given opportunity, also he eats dinner with her most nights since he doesn’t have a full kitchen downstairs so when I came to visit most time we’d have dinner with his mom and then the conversation would be molded to her sensibilities. I couldn’t say anything critical about her son to her face, couldn’t say if I didn’t like his “cooking” or something else, would have to listen to her talk about her life, especially her past life.
Anyways that’s all in the past now , but for someone like me with relational trauma, “normal” family relationships are a strain.