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Originally Posted by eskielover
Just wondering if you were at the sober point when the initial red flags occurred? That definitely could have made a huge difference in how you perceived the relationship at that time.
Oh, I was totally sober when I logically thought about marrying my now EX in spite of the HUGE red flags. It took me a lot of effort to go back & remember what in the world I was thinking way back in 1975....but I did it & understand why I made the choice then even though now, hind sight has made me realize those RED FLAGS were real & I should have followed my GUT, not my logic in that case.
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I was dry but unmedicated, wasn’t working a program . So many people had sold him to me, I thought because he was vetted by a work environment that was a positive . I continue to look back on my Facebook memories and see his mom’s comments. She really pushed for the relationship, knowing all of her son’s addiction and mental health issues . In her mind she didn’t see anything wrong with her 40something yo son still living at home. Even ppl at work had told me about his alcohol issues but of course they had no way of knowing how it would impact me.
The big lesson in all this for me is I can not use cannabis and I probably have to be on medication . I know some people say medication isn’t for them (he’s one of them), however he also self medicated with nicotine, alcohol and marijuana .
Thank you for your reply