Quote:
Originally Posted by Rose76
40 something y.o. and he has dinner with Mom most nights? This guy really isn't available for a romantic relationship with any woman. He's "already taken."
IMHO the nature of your relationship with him needs to keep evolving. Maintaining a "close friendship" with a former dating partner is not a great idea. Lots of posters in these forums will say, "Why not?" It comes up a lot in threads. It just never seems to be a good thing.
Here is another thing I would recommend: Adjust your FaceBook access, so that what you post no longer shows up in this guy's mother's feed. He's in a weird relationship with his mom. There's no need for you to be. Disengage with her, gently, politely and firmly. I'm not saying "Unfriend" her. Just quietly close the door between her space and yours.
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In terms of your first paragraph, exactly! I knew when I first met him he was in a relationship with someone else, I just didn’t know it was with his mother! Even today he told me he had to tell his mother he was sick and would be eating dinner downstairs by himself .
I don’t know if you read my earlier posts that one of the first things we fought about was his insistence that I greet his mother first thing upon arrival. He could go in the side door to his apartment instead of through the front door, and usually his mother is in the back of the house watching tv or reading.
I remember one time in particular when he told me her feelings were hurt because I didn’t greet her on arrival . Usually when we get there it’s right after work and I’ve had no time to myself all day and the last thing I want to do is put on a show for someone else.
I stopped going over there prior to ending the relationship because I got so sick of the drama .
The things I was mentioning on Facebook were in my memories . Currently it seems she can only see when I update my cover photo so there’s no problem there .
I work with my ex bf and we were even given time off together this month because the break up was so recent . I feel it’s better if people think we’re still dating . Everyone, well almost everyone , loves him at work , and are so happy he found somebody . I feel like to at least two people I just exist to be his girlfriend! He’s also always telling me about what a good job he does and the praise he gets or how he thinks he’s perceived. He was in management so I really can’t say anything .
I haven’t dated someone at work since I was 17 and even then it was someone in a different area of the organization. I had forgotten that was not a good idea because so many people are still enthusiastic about our relationship and him.
It reminds me so much of my ex husband, he is also very popular too in social settings and when I tried to talk about the problems at home or in the relationship, people didn’t want to hear it. My mom blamed me for my ex husbands relapse, this guys mom asked me if it was ok if he had a beer and couldn’t maintain her stance of no smoking on her property after he threw a fit.
It’s been 15 years between the two relationships and I seemed to have forgotten everything I learned .
Thanks for replying.