My boyfriend nearly broke up with me tonight. It was awful. So much more, that I knew it was all my fault.

Ive been so wrapped up in my own problems lately that I didnt realise that i was risking our relationship. I havent paid him any attention whatsoever - (His mum has been having heart problems and been in hospital aswell, he's also having a bad time at work) - but for some reason I just didnt think it mattered.... Ive been moody, walking out on him, not wanting to spend time with him etc etc... and I didnt realise I was creating a problem, and I havent been there for him when he needed me most.

He broke down on the phone to me telling me all this after I text him telling him that I didnt want to see him tonight... I was in shock, because it opened my eyes to what I had done.

After that, he just wanted to be alone. He wouldnt even talk to me on here or anything. Ive never really had a serious relationship before so I didnt have a clue what to do. The first thing I did was go to the shop for cookie mix and bake a big turtle shaped cookie (he calls me his 'turtle' lol), and he asked me if I could make him one a few week back and I promised I would... but I didnt. I told him I didnt have the time, when really I just couldnt be bothered. So I made it to keep his promise (I also icing'd 'im sorry' on it lol).

He rang me later on that night when I was in the bath, and asked me to meet him. He sounded really bland, but upset, he didnt say 'love you' before ending the call, he just ended it... and I was there thinking, 'oh god, he's breaking up with me'

He didnt though. He just explained to me why he'd been feeling that way and that I had nothing to apologise for because he understood why he did it. We hugged and cried for what seemed like forever. But at least I know now. I was so relieved and grateful that I wasnt holding onto him for the last time... And Im glad he told me. I know better now... I dont know what I'd had done without him.

What a night... it really opened my eyes

babyg xXx