Leomama - if you have connections to others who are "in recovery," use that resource. My S.O. drank during the first 12 years of our relationship. It was not fun for me. I went to Al-Anon and learned so much. I will always be so grateful for that. I learned that I had to focus on how I want to live my life, not on how I thought he should be living his life. That took a huge weight off my shoulders and off my mind. I learned to separate what is my business from what is not my business. It took over a decade for me to grasp what I kept hearing and reading. But, eventually, I started to get it. I apply it to how I deal with others in every walk of my life . . . not perfectly . . . but I stick with it. Of course, you have to find what works for you.