i am afraid i don't have a step by step guide either. Try to do the best you can and remind yourself that it is not your fault any of this happened. Love. Be kind to yourself and others. Sorry if this post isn't really Helpful. i think a therapist might help but you've said you've already had bad experiences. i think focusing on the things you have in your Life right now and what you're Grateful for might be a start. i am Hoping the best for everyone. Stay Safe. Stay Strong. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @dancinglady, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!