It is very hard for an addict to choose something over the addiction. I quit drinking about 20 years ago and never looked back. My then girlfriend at the time gave me some of the same choices that you gave your husband. I guess we were lucky that we were not married and no kids involved.

Alcohol is very seductive and can cloud your judgment and if you choose to drink it to medicate your pain, then it becomes more sinister. That was the reason why I used to drink, to hide my pain. I understand your concern with his deceit, but as long as the bottle isn't too far from his grasp, I would continue to tread carefully. There is a lot of truth to the quote, In vino veritas....but alcohol can also hide and conceal very well.

In regards to the new "relationship"...I am about 99% certain is of an enabling nature and will end up with him being kicked down the road...I would be more concerned about his relationship with the children and let the children know the seductive nature of alcohol...

At least you're cognizant of this problem and good luck on your journey...

--Sarc